The holidays are a time for family, love, and gratitude. After a divorce, it can be hard to want to focus on any of these topics. Instead, the holidays can bring a lot of uncertainty, sadness, and loneliness. We’ve put together a list of tips to not only help you get through the holidays, but actually enjoy them.
Make Plans in Advance
If you and your spouse were together for many years, you likely had a routine for the holidays or annual parties to attend. In the months leading up to the holidays, talk to friends and family about potential plans. This will give you an idea of what you can look forward to and prepare for during the holiday season.
Additionally, if you share children, you should speak with your ex about your plans. You need to make sure that you know who will be spending what days with your kids over the holidays. Procrastinating this conversation can lead to confusion and arguments. Instead, ensure you both have a clear understanding of visitation for the holidays. This way, if any conflicts arise, you have plenty of time to sort it out.
Dramatic movies and TV shows are a guilty pleasure for many people, but no one likes drama in their own lives. As you and your ex-spouse communicate about holiday plans, keep it respectful. If arguments arise, contemplate if it is worth continuing the fight. Avoiding drama will keep you in the right headspace over the holidays and show your children that you are putting them first.
Some families experience drama not only with their ex, but also with their extended families. If your grandparents, aunts, cousins, ex-in-laws, etc., begin to start drama, set clear boundaries and don’t engage. In the end, the choices made about your children and the holidays are 100% up to you and your ex.
Start New Traditions
Traditions are an important part of the holidays and forgoing the typical traditions you and your spouse shared can add salt to the wound. Instead of trying to recreate the same traditions on your own, create new ones. You could try making something different for dinner, purchasing or crafting new holiday decorations and games, or even go on a bucket list trip.
If you and your ex didn’t have traditions before your divorce, then now is a perfect time to start some!
Focus On Your Children
The holidays are a magical time for kids. Simply being around your children who are experiencing the pure joy of the holidays can help bring you into the holiday spirit.
In addition to spending time with your kids, invite them to talk about their feelings. This is also their first holiday season after their parents’ divorce; show that you are there to support them as well. Another great idea is to include your kids in the holiday planning process. Ask them what they want to do and don’t want to do. This will make it clear to them that their feelings are important.
Don’t Put Pressure On Yourself
Navigating your first holiday season after divorce is tough logistically and emotionally. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make sure things are perfect — after all, nothing really can be! Give yourself time and space to process your emotions and prioritize your well-being. Do things that make you happy.
Long Beach Divorce Attorney
If you are considering a divorce or have recently filed, contact Curtis Family Law. As a family law specialist, Attorney Robert Curtis has a unique and in-depth understanding of divorce and child custody. He is here to support you throughout this journey to a new beginning. Please don’t hesitate to reach out about any family law matters, call today: (562) 315-7107.